**Why some women should use ‘toys’ instead of having s*x with men – Kemi Olunloyo speaks on FGM**

7 years ago

**Why some women should use ‘toys’ instead of having s*x with men – Kemi Olunloyo speaks on FGM**

The daughter of a former governor of Oyo State, Victor Omololu Olunloyo, Kemi Omololu-Olunloyo has explained why she advised victims of female circumcision and genital mutilation to use sex toys instead of relying on men for sex “they would not enjoy”.
She stated that harmful and discriminatory practices on women, children and other persons, especially with regard to the increasing wave of violence against women, such as rape, sexual assault, in the country cannot be overemphasized.

Ms Olunloyo stated that many African women, especially Nigerians, are not willing to speak about their experiences with Female Genital Mutilation, FGM.

In a chat with IBTimes UK, the outspoken media personality opened up on her personal experience about the “horrific procedure” of FGM still going on in many parts of Nigeria.

Recall that in 2015, former Nigerian president, Goodluck Jonathan, passed a law banning FGM and several persons, including Governor Rauf Aregbesola of Osun State commended the initiative and called on government at all levels to work towards its total eradication in the country.

Notwithstanding the law, Ms. Olunloyo stated that “Oyo state still practices it. Only the Ijebus people across the Yorubaland where I am from in Nigeria don’t do it at all”.

The US-trained journalist recalled her experience, saying she was five years old when her family took her and her sister to visit an old man, who made the two girls lie on his laps and then cut part of their vagina and cl!toral area off.

She said memories of the encounter have left an indelible mark in her life as she has no libido or urge to have sex and she’s been celibate for 10 years.

The 52-year-old said, “There was no anaesthetic and a sharp razor blade was used. I remember my sister and I screaming afterwards. We went home bleeding in diapers and, for a week, it was like we were little girls with menstrual periods. My mom was bathing us and diapering us. Deep down, mom was not happy for some reason.

“After years of resentment towards her mother, I finally confronted her in 2012. She burst into tears telling me that our late paternal grandmother ordered my dad to have us do it.

“This tradition is over 70-years-old. Our grandmother was a traditional Muslim woman who dictated many rules to her young son, my dad.

“Some women and girls, who undergo FGM, have their entire genitalia cut and “sewn closed.” My genitalia were only partially removed, meaning I did not experience difficulties while giving birth, however, the psychological and physical consequences of the mutilation still linger in my life.

“Calling it an operation is nothing. It was a cultural barbaric act used to decrease the female libido. It caused me post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for life.

“I don’t experience orgasm during sex and when I tried to promote the use of sex toys among Nigerian women, men started attacking me saying I was discouraging African women ‘from the real thing’.

“Sex is not important. I have no libido or urge to have sex and I’ve been celibate for 10 years. Millions of women in Nigeria go through this, but they cannot talk or be outspoken like me. It is shameful and a disgrace to them.

“Many women say they fake orgasms and others have husbands who go out to prostitutes and girlfriends. FGM has destroyed marriages here.

“My message to girls who have been through it is to stay strong and get into support groups. Its better to educate girls about sex education the right way, instead of cutting part of their genitals off causing a lifelong traumatic problem,” the feminist noted.