Ambrose Goes to Village - S01 E05

Story 3 years ago

Ambrose Goes to Village - S01 E05

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 5

We proceed to the Entertainment Hall, i was

happy eeh! Not happy because of the

wedding o, but because i gonna eat their

expensive food because i heard the guy lives

in America. As we were been lead by a set of

group playing drums for the couples and

there were busy showing up their dancing

steps, me and my Cousin were just looking

at them as foreigners, so when we finally

got there, me and my yeye Cousin sat down

at the back as usual drawing our map on

how to eat excess food, after the couples

got seated my Cousin told me his coming

that he want to go and urinate and I just

ignored him and was busy watching a

movie on my phone, he later came back like

5 minutes time, and started playing music

with his ear-phone, it did’t take up to 10

minutes something happened

MC: now we call upon a man who will

enlighten us here with fresh jokes, Ladies

and Gentle Men help me welcome Ambrose

Silver to come and collect the microphone

for his comedy series

i turned to my cousin

Cousin: Am sorry i just wanted to help you

make some cash

Me: But i did’t prepare for this.

Cousin: I know but $2000 is the pay.

Me: What! Abeg i don ready self.

I immediately almost ran to the front, and

collected the Mic from the MC

Me: Good Day Ladies before Gentle Men, if

any of this i will mention have happened to

you just know that your village people are

following you

.

Me: •after entering a bus, it gets to

your turn

to pay

your fare and you can’t find your

money. My

bro follow money lost o because

the kind

beating you go chop that day eh .

Lemme

faint in the swimming pool side

abeg. Abi

space no dey there again.

•If you downloading 5GB of data

and it

Fails at

99%. Your village peopl work be

that go beg

then o

•If you buy an iphone 6 for 150k

today

and the next day the price drops

to 70k.

Abeg take the earpiece . Oya

hank yourself

•You win 100millon, u put am 4

bank,

next

week d bank declare bankruptcy.

Bettdr turn

bank building to your house .

#emix

•your first day in a restaurant,

after

eating fish, the bone hang for

your throat.

Big eyes have kill you

•If after working for 30 days,

you got

fired

without salary. You no get gun

make we

scatter that place

•After selling your fathers

property to

go abroad, and you still got

deported few

weeks

later. Oya die

• if you take cheat into the exam

hall,

and cant

understand your own

handwriting. Oya kill

your self

• If after 6 abortions and d guy

still ends

up not

marrying you. #speechless

• if you submit expo with

your answer sheet. F9 is not your

posting o .

• when ur friend wey just come

back from

America give u cheque

& did

not remember to

sign Before going back. Oya

hang for plane

time never go . Pls is there space

at the boys

quarter. a

• If at age 38 , you still refer to

Davido as

your role model. Shift lemme

fainti jor #emix

• if after you use a heavy

perfume and

your

body odour is still stronger than

RAID.

My

bro enter river niger and bath 50

times

• If After You photoshop your

Picture &

you still Ugly Pass Taye Taiwo.

Just kill me

• If u get expelled 24hrs 2 ur.

graduation.

Oya come nearer lemme pray for

you any

wizard or witches using your live

to dry fish

oya burn with fire from hell .

• if ur leg dey show for passport.

Lemme be

going.

photograph.

• If You Break-Up With Your

Boyfriend/

girlfriend and he/she wins

100million naira.

Honey pls is the work of devil am

now a

change person . #isorite

the next day!.

• if the person that you were

cursing out in traffic turns out to

be the

one

interviewing you for a job. Just

take your cv

burn it and start doing

conductor.

• If U lied to Armed robbers that

u

don’t have a phone, then it rings,

& ur

ringtone

is ‘Ebami K’igbe Ole, Ole Ole Ole!

Oya kill me i

don tire .

• if you sell ur Kidney to buy a

Range rover

sport and they steal it d next day

you will be

like oya steal me join

.

Before i could finish everybody was busy

laughing and i smiled and gave back the mic

to the MC who was still laughing but in a

controllable way shaa, i went back to my sit

and my Cousin said well done sharp brain.

The reception ended after several hours and

i checked my phone and saw the alert about

the $2000, i transfered half of the money to

my cousin and we headed home but i urged

my cousin for us to go to his house, we

went to his house and headed straight to

his room, and i found out that there wasn’t

any Chair at the room and i said

Me: oga o, you refuse to put chair for your

room so that if Lady visit you she go sit

down for bed! Abi? clap for yourself,

chairman planning Committee

Cousin: that one concern you, abeg wetin i

go offer you

Me: Rice and Stew with beans and some

vegetable, add 2 Chicken laps, add 4 fried

eggs, bring along with Orange juice and

some cakes, before i could finish listing my

Cousin had brought out Drinking Garri with

no Sugar only salt.