A reader on Tori news from the South-western part of Nigeria has shared her concerns on the inability of her husband to satisfy her in bed which is becoming a major problem in their union.
I am Bernadette from Delta state. My marriage is barely a year and I am already fed up with it. I married Samson from Edo state on the 22nd of February this year. We met in a pentecostal church in Lagos state. I was a chorister in the church while he worked with the ushering team. We got close by virtue of a Youth Convention our church organized and both of us were in the planning committee. We were always at loggerheads with opposing views at the committee meeting.
After the convention, he apologized to me and truthfully he had nothing to be apologetic about. We got talking and then went on a date together. Regular talks on phone increased and we started dating in a godly way. Due to our Christian faith and close church scrutiny, we strictly followed the principles of relationship as la!d down in the bible. We told our pastor about the growing emotions and he assigned us to a mentor who was grounded in marriage issues. We started attending marriage counselling sessions. Books were recommended for us to as well as a feedback platform to ensure we were reading them.
I never had the slightest chance of a meeting with Samson behind closed doors. I never kissed him until the day of our wedding at the altar. The urg e for s*x was killing me but I kept mute about my lustful desires as I wanted respect from my husband as well show obedience to the doctrine of my religion. It was quite difficult for me to abstrain from s*x due to my previous worldly relations I had before I became born again.
Samson and I were in courtship for 7 months. During the union, I tried luring him to my house for a quick s*x. You wouldn't blame me, I was eager to see what I will eat for the rest of my life. He wasn't too eager to have s*x. It was during our honeymoon that I realized he was a virgin. That was awkward to me especially in this present world where men freely have s*x like they are eating their next meals.
In the hotel room, he was nervous when we started kissing. I was stunned that he lacked ideas. I was almost embarrassed but hid my feelings in order not to give him the impression that I am experienced. His touching skills were quite poor and I was already getting turned off. I finally reached for his boxers and let out his manhood. He was shy about it. The size was the greatest shock I have ever received in my life.
I am not too good in figures but it was around 4 inches but thick. He got on top of me and in 5 minutes it was over. I wept bitterly in my heart. After a round, he was panting like he was chased my Boko Haram terrorists. You need to see the way he was drinking the bottle water on the table. He asked me if I was satisfied and I said yes. I didn't want him to feel bad.
After several hours, I tried getting him hard again and in less than 15 minutes he was done. He was so small that he was combing the top alone. He was far from the depth. It made it difficult for me to reach the climax. That's the drama I have been facing since I got married to him. I have tried specialized positions with him to ensure deeper penetration but all to no avail.
I am tempted to cheat on him which I don't want to. Most times I still have to use s*x toys secretly after making love to him to get myself to a considerable level of satisfaction. I miss my ex boyfriend named Ismaila from Kaduna. He was so endowed below and was good at using it perfectly. I almost got married to him but his parents wanted me to convert to Islam. This was very difficult for me so I was forced to quit the relationship.
Ismaila was such a great guy that had all it takes to make a woman feel good. He isn't as financially capable as my husband but money is not everything.
I am so confused about my man and my love for him has started to diminish. I feel like divorcing him in order to avoid being an unfaithful wife. I really don't know what to do. I hope to read good pieces of advice from those experienced in marriage in order to set me on the right track.