Last week, in an interview with Okey bakassi
on Channels TV, Nollywood Actress, Monalisa Chinda
dropped her opinion concerning domestic violence. She advised women to quit provoking their men into punching and slapping them as she claims women talk a lot cos they have this runny okra mouth.
As much as as most of us don’t like domestic violence, women should quit provoking their men into punches and slaps and all kinds of things. Haven’t said that… I was going through… cos I’m a domestic violence… eh… (laughs)… I don’t want to go there please, that’s not why I’m here. I always research when I hear stories that come up, fresh stories… of course this is close to my heart. I always dig in and half the time it’s the women. God just gave us the very runny okra mouth… we talk a lot.
However, fellow Nollywood Actress, Uche Ogbodo
disagrees with her stance. She says the talk that a woman is the one that pushes her man’s button to anger is not true and that a man should never react violently no matter what a woman does.
Her Instagram quote:
First of all, society looks down on women who stay in abusive relationships and pities them for being “helpless” and “weak.”
Domestic violence victims can’t be categorized into a stereotype, but range among all types of women. Yet society places a specific insecure,
weak, vulnerable woman into the category of most likely to be in an abusive relationship.
Rather than ridicule or punish the man who commits the abuse, this wrong perception will fault the woman for putting up with it because she possesses these negative traits. Women are taught that it is our personality “traits” that got us into this problem, and therefore we feel we must solve it.
As a result, women are quick to blame themselves for why our significant other is acting so violently. We angered them, we upset them, we pushed their buttons — but none of this is true. It shouldn’t matter what you do or how you live your life, it is the man’s choice to react in a violent or physical way.
As little girls growing up, we learn fast to always be aware and to always be afraid. Girls are told to dress and act a certain way so as not to upset men, yet boys are not lectured on how to react
when angry or treat women respectfully. A man’s anger is equal to his power, try and diminish it and you risk emasculating him. It is this gender stereotype that makes it easy for women to receive the blame for abusive relationships instead of the man.