The Buhari Scam Keeps Unravelling

Forum 1 year ago

The Buhari Scam Keeps Unravelling

For Shehu to include a crass exchange between the president and his associate who suffers from the Nigerian “Big Man” disease of libidinal incontinence into official records, he—and even Buhari—did not think how much they demeaned the presidency. Even worse, they punctured through the whole lie they sold to us in 2015 that Buhari would be a reformer because he is personally disciplined. Look, for someone to approach the president of a whole country, ask for a parcel of land in a prime location, and boldly admit he would use the land to achieve licentious ends, it must mean they know Buhari to be similarly wanton and lacking discipline. If you do not know the president well enough as someone at ease with being surrounded by irresponsible and shameless freeloaders, you do not go up to him and ask for mere carnality to be gratified.

We are not talking about the cronyism of requesting land from your president to start a business that will employ Nigerians or to site a public library (or similar public service). No, the request is merely towards mere degenerate ends; non-regenerative activities that have paralysed economic development in this part of the world. Such nonsense always makes me wonder why—as a nation and as a race of people—we are so perversely blessed with the most unimaginative, self-seeking buffoons and entirely myopic set of leaders who cannot think beyond their orifices. If anyone is still wondering why a nation of an estimated 200 million humans cannot lead itself out of multidimensional poverty and perennial underdevelopment, just look at the priorities of the people in power.

If Buhari was the kind of person who thinks about things, that kind of request from his crony should have been a light-bulb moment. That could have triggered his mind to reflect on how the bureaucratic systems of land allocation in Nigeria allow people to gain access to premium real estate for no valuable purpose other than what affords them a few minutes of pleasure. A leader that thinks about things would have taken such a close-up illustration of the flaws and corruption of the system, and then consider introducing reforms. Unfortunately, Buhari is not the type of person who can rise above the company of wanton pleasure seekers that he keeps. From Shehu’s official release, Buhari’s reason for bringing up such a topic did not go beyond merely wondering how the FCT minister copes “with such people who are extremely serious about such things. And I think about 45 per cent of those who have been given land allocation in the FCT have sold it and didn’t develop it according to the laid down criteria (master plan).”

Yes, that is your president publicly admitting that those to whom they allocate land in the nation’s capital hold their administration’s established procedures in contempt. By deviating from the master plan, it is a matter of time before that place grows into another chaotic city. The fact that about half of the people who got land allocations strayed from the plan did not strike Buhari as a matter that demands accountability. He behaves like an independent observer in his presidency, but do you blame him? He is someone whom fate promoted, not just beyond his intellectual and administrative capacities, but also beyond his moral strength. That is why he will leave behind a legacy of a nation diminished by his lack of leadership acumen. We are worse off than where we were in 2015, and this man thinks anyone cares that he might meddle in national affairs after 2023? He might as well relieve us of the torture of his leadership by leaving for Daura tonight.

The Buhari that came to power roughly eight years ago was packaged as someone who had it in him to exercise the self-restraints necessary to administer a dysfunctional country like Nigeria. For a benighted nation, the thought of having a president with integrity and self-discipline was alluring. No thanks to Buhari and his legendary incompetence, we now know better. At the twilight of his leadership, he unironically announces that he is regularly solicited by those who want to exchange national resources for debauchery. Meanwhile, the same people who packaged his myth are back in the market. Now they are promising that 2023 will bring “renewed hope.” We have moved from the taglines of ‘integrity’ and ‘anti-corruption’ to “builder of city” and “builder of men.” That is how they will tell you that another messiah is on the way until somewhere down the line when the scam will unravel, first, through the failures of such leader; and second, through the person’s garrulous admission that none of what they told you was ever true.