What Living On Purpose Really Means
Living on purpose simply means being able to give a correct account of the WHY for every of your daily actions. It means to live your life like a man/woman on an assignment; having short term, medium term, and long term goals for your life. It means living a planned life. Living on purpose implies a longer life for you; and not just that alone; it also means a life full of impact and meaning. It is a life worth living.
Nothing can be more frustrating as drifting through the days of your life robotically, feeling vaguely lost and dissatisfied; angry at life, angry at people, blaming everyone else but yourself. People with a lack of purpose float rather than swim. They are passive in life rather than active. They flow with the tide and will rarely row hard against it.
They are shortsighted, helping fulfill everybody’s dreams but their own. Their lives are an emotional roller coaster, with more troughs than peaks; bored with themselves, often finding a way to distract themselves whenever possible. They rather find joy in foolishness such as strategising on how to get la!d, flagrant display of clothes and its accesories, flaunting of electronics that are already outdated in Europe, binge drinking, joining confraternal brigandages in campuses, etc.
This may be sounding vitriolic, or looks like a cynical viewpoint, but I’m afraid it isn’t. This is reality. I was a victim of lack of purpose for many years. Some of those days, I stayed awake all night, pondering what on earth I was born to do in life. I was so easily distracted by anything at all; lacking focus and direction; spending my life on 2go and facebook looking for fine girls to ask out.
Between my first year in the medical school and fourth year, I vascillitated constantly on what I wanted to do after school; because I clearly lacked direction. In my first year in school, I wanted to specialise in Orthopaedic Surgery because I had an uncle who was a successful orthopaedic surgeon. Problem arose when I tried to get close to him to be my mentor then, but sadly, I discovered that he didn't believe in me. He thought I would never make it through medical school. He constantly spoke words of fear each time I visited him; telling me stories upon stories of young chaps who couldn't make it beyond the 2nd MBBS examinations. I lost my confidence and self esteem listening to him constantly, so I stopped visiting him.
I later changed my mind to Ophthalmology in my second year; then Obstetrics and Gynaecology in my third year. Later on, I decided I was going to be a top entrepreneur, with a focus on importation of drugs and running a one stop pharmacy complex. But my contract with confusion had not been severed. There was more confusion to come.
In my fourth year in school, I decided that I was going to be a pastor with my church, Living Faith Church, aka Winners’ Chapel. I greatly admired my Bishop, Dr David Oyedepo; thus in pursuit of the annointing for the ministry ahead, I abandoned my academic texts for many months as I went on many personal retreats. I missed tutorials and clinics while reading up on several books on Faith, Miracles, Power, etc, and I listened to hundreds of tapes in the process. I was the president of our fellowship then in campus. Needless to say, I dropped in my academic performance in school during this period of my search for the annointing and I’m sure you know why.
Due to this effect on my academic studies, I gave up on being a pastor when I leave medical school and I faced my books squarely in order to return to my academic best. It was during this time that I became angry at God and at the religious folks around me. I rebelled vigourously against God in my mind. I cared less anyway since I clearly couldn't diagnose my problem.
It was not until my fifth year that it all came together. I had more clarity than ever before. Nothing gives more clarity than a sense of purpose.
Are you feeling like a confused automaton trapped in a cold and unforgiving matrix? I’ll show you a way out; how I solved my own puzzle of living without a purpose and a direction. Grace to you.
How I Discovered My Purpose.
1) I spent one weekend alone, thinking and reflecting on my CORE VALUES.
You see, our values are a pointer to where our calling lies. For instance, I discovered that my core values included
~Integrity and Sincerity
~Curiousity (Yes, it's true. I'm a curious person. I lack discipline and order). The meaning is that I hate routine and would likely rebel against norms than follow them.
~Love, Compassion and Sharing
~Impact, Recognition and Appreciation
~Family and Friends.
I wrote them down, and decided that I would walk away from people, associations, societies, and cliques that do not share at least half of these values. There is a correlation between purpose and your values.
2) I looked inward to discover what my PASSION really was. For instance, I have more passion for public speaking and making power point presentations than I have for hospital job. Thus while my value for Love, Contribution and Sharing will keep me in the practice of medicine, my passion for communicating hope and direction will keep me afloat as a public speaker.
3) I analysed the things that gave me PAIN and STRESS.
Many of us have been hurt and disappointed severally by people. For instance, I lost a sibling who was supposed to be my elder brother to a careless doctor who was treating him for malaria for several weeks while he was suffering from anaemic heart failure; which eventually took him. He was the only son of my parents then; with five girl-children ahead of him already, so you can imagine the pain of my parents at losing a son they've been waiting for.
You see, there will be defining moments in your life. You don't have to forget them; but heal from them and turn them into a message/career. Make sure someone close to you does not have to go through the same things that hurt you in the past.
4) I took a look at the PROBLEMS around me.
I believe that problem solvers are men of purpose. Problem-solving will shoot you to relevance and make you a man-on-assignment; a man of purpose. I found a problem.
When I was a student, one problem I saw was a sea of people who didn't know why they were in school. Some naive girls as young as 16 or 17 years were readily snapped up by smooth talkers who go on to persuade them to move in with them. Every night is a night of rumble under the sheets. These girls enter the university as good, homely girls but are turned to sex objects before they leave school. These are people's future wives for that matter. I saw it as a social problem that needs to be solved. It pained me, so I started talking about it. I will enter a class early in the morning before a lecturer comes in and plead for attention from them to hear me out. I talked in hostels too. Little did I know that I was sharpening my public speaking skills and perfecting myself in the art of persuassion; at the same time, making an impact in the lives of first year students.
5) I spent time bathing myself in PRAYER; asking God why He created me, and sent me to my family, my community, my state, and Nigeria. Why was I born in Nigeria and not in Luxemburg?
I prayed until I had peace in my mind that God wanted me to practice medicine and not to be an entrepreneur/importer of drugs after medical school. Lol.
You see, I believe the bible is a universal book that has sold more than any book on earth; filled with so much wisdom. Thus whether you're a christain, muslim, or an atheist, I hope you draw inspiration from a story I read in Habakkuk 2vs1-3 that taught me this 5th point.
Prophet Habakkuk said he will stand on his watch (the place of prayer), to hear what God will tell him. Then God gave him his purpose and told him to write it boldly and in plain letters. God further encouraged him with further words of hope. You can find your purpose like this.
1) Ladies, please never marry a man that clearly lacks purpose. They are everywhere, parambulating up and down without a purpose/plan for their lives. It will be a Holy Padlock, not a Holy Wedlock; because they will sit over your purpose/plans/ambitions; feeling threatened at your progress since they themselves lack purpose. They are the type of men that graduate into abusers; battering their wives at the slightest issue because they try so hard demanding for respect instead of earning it with their grand purpose/plan/ambition/sense of direction. The stories on internet portraying all sort of abuses meted out to women are enough lessons. Beware, lest you forget.
2) Gentlemen,please do not marry a clearly clueless, naive woman who is unsupportive, directionless, and totally dependent and needy, without a life of her own. As a single lady, her highest calling is spending time strategising on how to tie down a man of her own; warming a hundred beds in town without planning on how to be a wife/mother/resourceful partner/efficient manager of resources/home-maker.
A sense of Purpose/Assignment solves all that. It has a way of confering wisdom for living to people who discover theirs.
My Prayer For You
If you're currently reading this, I believe you're a messenger; and you need to know that. You were designed with an end in mind so you should discover it and fulfil it.
The spotlight is on you now. May your life never lack a sense of purpose. You’ll never drift through life again. You’ll go from wandering aimlessly to possessing your future. You will own it.
You shall experience a quantum leap - a radical ascent of grace, shooting you up into new realms of life, not traceable to your natural ability.
You shall experience unpredicted emergence; a show up on the scene supernaturally, like the Wind, and taking your space by storm!
You shall experience a mighty rescue from habits stronger than you, plus the licence for a future better than your past.
God will take over your life and you will become a different person by grace. Your soul will be emptied of pain, and the curtains will lift for new light.
Grace to you. Grace to me too.